Alt Guy goes to jail for throwing TV at cat
Published on Wednesday 2/24/2010 @ 4:20 PM by the ALT REPORT Robot
This video has ‘made the rounds’, usually under the title “Hipster Guy on Judge Judy.” The Alt Report cannot confirm that this bro is a ‘hipster.’ It seems like he might be more of a biker bro, or maybe just some ‘lost alt’ guy who does something extreme. He seems to think the whole ordeal is a ‘joke’, possibly doesn’t care abt life or society. He has branded himself as a bro who ‘likes killing animals.’ It seems like a bad idea to kill a cat, especially since cats are so valued in our lolcat meme society.
The alt guy said he was ‘mad wasted’ and didn’t remember throwing a tv across the room and killing the cat.
He also brings his boyfriend on as a witness. It seems like because they are ‘gay’, we can safely say that they are not ‘hipsters’, probably just misguided homosexuals.
I feel like this bro is definitely gay, but the other bro who looks like he is in the band GIRLS is probably just ‘being gay to be alt.’
What seems more difficult, an alt guy killing ur cat, or the process of turning ur cat’s death into a meme [via Judge Judy].
Would yall ‘bang’ this girl, or does she seem like a failed indie girl type?
It seems like these are probably just people who ‘never left their home town’ after college, and ended up getting drunk and getting Red Box movies every night. Glad I avoided the class issues associated with being an apartment dweller.
Who was at fault for this crime?
Can Judge Judy solve every1’s problems?
Has n e 1 ever killed ur cat?
Were these people ‘hipsters’ or is ‘Hipster kills cat’ a misleading headline?
58 comments to “Alt Guy goes to jail for throwing TV at cat”
February 24th, 2010 at 4:29 pm
question 1 = yes with the proviso that given a higher resolution photograph probably not
Reply
February 24th, 2010 at 5:01 pm
seems like these days, what should be articles go in the alt report,
and what should be on the alt report, become articles.
Reply
//////////Reply by thunderstood
//////////Posted February 24th, 2010 at 6:28 pm
@@@@, agreed
Reply
//////////Reply by Spandrell
//////////Posted February 26th, 2010 at 2:58 pm
@@@@, got it in one
Reply
February 24th, 2010 at 5:07 pm
that gay bro with the glasses is Narwalz of Sound, a witch house bro, one of pictureplane’s 2009 favs and prob someone carles will blog about in 4 to 5 months from now [via witch house].
Reply
//////////Reply by mstrcnt
//////////Posted February 24th, 2010 at 5:32 pm
@jc, pretty sure this is a ‘hipster grifter’ hijack meme. A+ for effort; they fooled supreme lord chancellor Judy. MNSTRM = ALT.
Reply
//////////Reply by guard
//////////Posted February 24th, 2010 at 5:37 pm
@jc,
Shut up shut up shut up shut up.
Rule #1.
Reply
//////////Reply by jc
//////////Posted February 24th, 2010 at 8:03 pm
@guard, lol oops sry!
Reply
February 24th, 2010 at 5:28 pm
no hipster would have two tvs that close together.
Reply
//////////Reply by amber
//////////Posted February 25th, 2010 at 12:07 pm
@dave, so true!
Reply
//////////Reply by pls1
//////////Posted February 25th, 2010 at 5:08 pm
@dave, they r 4 visulz in live per4mnces. i was off wrk and saw this. yuk. dr. judy HATED them. yeah, me too, dr. show me angry sistas with bad weaves 4 EVRRRR!
Reply
February 24th, 2010 at 5:39 pm
concerned that i watched this on tv
definitely not hipsters
Reply
February 24th, 2010 at 5:51 pm
That dude at the end was f-n hilarious…”My life is ridiculous.”
Reply
//////////Reply by authentanick
//////////Posted February 24th, 2010 at 6:07 pm
@Wildwod, he gets +10 alt points for being deep/self-deprecating
Reply
//////////Reply by Dude
//////////Posted February 24th, 2010 at 6:37 pm
@authentanick, “Glad I avoided the class issues associated with being an apartment dweller.” Well put Carles. White trash indeed.
Reply
//////////Reply by \\\\\\\\\\
//////////Posted February 25th, 2010 at 12:10 pm
@Wildwod, okey
Reply
February 24th, 2010 at 6:14 pm
comic FUCKING gold! best post in forever.
Reply
February 24th, 2010 at 6:34 pm
http://www.citypaper.com/digest.asp?id=19821
supposedly a joke?
also, i once knew the defendant, and he would kill a cat.
Reply
//////////Reply by yoyoyo
//////////Posted February 25th, 2010 at 3:10 am
@grandmawrinkle, you knew the defendant????
Reply
//////////Reply by AltDom
//////////Posted February 25th, 2010 at 11:59 am
@yoyoyo, It died?
Reply
February 24th, 2010 at 6:37 pm
That girl makes me uncomfortable. She seems like the type of broad with crazy eyes to just come and shank you.
Reply
//////////Reply by MagnetHero
//////////Posted February 24th, 2010 at 6:38 pm
@MagnetHero, via Zooey Deschanel in the show Weeds.
Reply
//////////Reply by strato
//////////Posted February 24th, 2010 at 7:19 pm
@MagnetHero, word
Reply
//////////Reply by dude
//////////Posted February 24th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
@MagnetHero,
i’d tap that
Reply
//////////Reply by AltDom
//////////Posted February 25th, 2010 at 12:01 pm
@MagnetHero, Twitchy broads are the best.
Reply
February 24th, 2010 at 10:15 pm
i feel like my whole life is ridiculous really
Reply
//////////Reply by Stu
//////////Posted February 25th, 2010 at 12:51 am
@ben, that was the best line of it all. So much ridiculousness
Reply
February 24th, 2010 at 10:39 pm
Ya, dude’s from Narwhalz. The chick is from Teeth Mountain. They were bored so they flew to LA and got on Judge Judy with a sham story and some friends.
Reply
//////////Reply by Rich
//////////Posted February 25th, 2010 at 3:16 pm
@Lauren, They also came by a party at my house and Brian kept trying to get my friends dog to attack the girl. I think a cat actually died… but they don’t smash stuff inside, for sure. So it’s a complicated case.
Reply
//////////Reply by chugg
//////////Posted February 27th, 2010 at 1:21 pm
@Lauren, no it is actually the case that jjudy was bored so she started a sham show and tricked these kids into thinking they were smarties with their fake dead cat story.
Reply
February 24th, 2010 at 11:13 pm
Lmao at JJ telling her to stop fidgeting
Reply
//////////Reply by skybeard
//////////Posted February 25th, 2010 at 7:37 am
@May,
judy has the same brand as my 1st grade nun teacher. I’m surprised more people besides Narwalz soundnoise bro don’t ‘call her out 4 being a bitch’ n let her know that she’s just another human being and need to chill out. everyone always just usually ‘takes it’, I probably would too [via fetishes]
Reply
//////////Reply by Spandrell
//////////Posted February 26th, 2010 at 3:02 pm
@skybeard, hahaha, that’s the fucking truth
Reply
February 25th, 2010 at 1:26 am
I bet the entire thing was a joke case that the hipsters did out of irony. They can’t stop almost laughing the whole way through.
Reply
February 25th, 2010 at 3:36 am
Mercy killing…that’s hilarious!
Reply
February 25th, 2010 at 3:40 am
I found the alts “band” http://www.myspace.com/kittyp0rn
Reply
February 25th, 2010 at 5:55 am
Um, the defendant didn’t go to jail. He had to pay the plaintiff $1k.
I’d defs bang the plaintiff. So cute/dumb/smart/easy.
Reply
//////////Reply by skybeard
//////////Posted February 25th, 2010 at 7:39 am
@Acid Midget,
if u get a court ruling and then everyone agrees after that it was ‘just a joke’, do u still have 2 deal with the sentencing?
Reply
February 25th, 2010 at 8:56 am
The cat killer is SHAMS he opened for PicturePlane and HEALTH last fall
Reply
//////////Reply by Nick
//////////Posted February 25th, 2010 at 1:16 pm
@Mike, Though after seeing him live, I wouldn’t be surprised if he really did kill the cat
Reply
February 25th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
the ending is gold
Reply
February 25th, 2010 at 2:45 pm
alts band sounds like best fwends/deathset from like a million years ago. fail
Reply
February 25th, 2010 at 4:53 pm
cats are gay animals anyway…
Reply
//////////Reply by HJ
//////////Posted February 25th, 2010 at 6:50 pm
@MEMEs, totes
Reply
February 25th, 2010 at 4:57 pm
totes know these people, if you get a ruling on JJ the show just gives you a check, hence the made up story. free money and free trip to LA.
Reply
February 25th, 2010 at 9:07 pm
so confused by the hipster biker bro!
is it a biker?
is it an alt?
hipster?
biker bro?
regular type bro?
BLOWING MY MIND
Reply
February 25th, 2010 at 11:45 pm
feel like alt report is more relevant than hro
Reply
February 25th, 2010 at 11:54 pm
is she always this mean??
Reply
February 26th, 2010 at 9:22 am
Judge Judy can solve everyone’s problems.
This is the weirdest story. Poor cat tho :”(
Reply
February 26th, 2010 at 1:20 pm
seems like that girl is ‘hella coked out’.
Reply
//////////Reply by amber
//////////Posted February 26th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
@broseph, she totally is fucking tweeker alt
Reply
February 26th, 2010 at 3:42 pm
This was def faked for the lulz
Reply
February 26th, 2010 at 6:43 pm
WHAM CITY! WHOOOOOOOOOOOO
Reply
//////////Reply by anost
//////////Posted February 26th, 2010 at 6:46 pm
@anost,
B(ALT)IMORE
Reply
February 27th, 2010 at 9:45 am
She’s in Teeth Mountain, and she was also part of Dan Deacon’s live ensemble for his tour last year.
Reply
February 28th, 2010 at 4:54 pm
Thatz mah cats they killed! OH NOES!
Reply
//////////Reply by bradlee
//////////Posted February 28th, 2010 at 6:51 pm
@JANICE, well *leans back in office chair, ticks off checkbox next to ‘read worst comment ever’ in scheduler*
Reply
March 4th, 2010 at 7:34 pm
“They’re straight. We hate ‘em.”
Reply